The Resilience 12 Steps

I’m a big fan of AA  because it’s got some rules and sometimes I need a good talking to. The delinquent loon that lives inside me does not rationalize, no nice parental calm explanatory stuff here. Its vocabulary is more limited than a chimp’s and some days it has to be met with a firm hand. And that’s why the 12 steps seem to work, because they speak directly and clearly to the crazed adolescent inside intent on going for that 7th double expresso at 10am. The 12 steps are actually based on some sound and profound understandings of emancipation from self-destruction, so I’ve excluded God and had a bash at the 12 steps to resilience.

Step one: start where you are. Really where you really are in life rather than where you’d like to be.

Step two: find somewhere safe and then get really really angry. Go nuts, smash something, just let it rip. Do not miss this step. You need the anger to move on.

Step three: swallow the fact that you can’t do these steps on your own. Don’t bother fighting against the entire history of human experience on this, it’s a fact.

Step four: acknowledge there are some familiar patterns in your life that you would not put on your CV and that you might have something to do with them.

Step five:  try not to beat yourself up about it not being entirely someone else’s fault.

Step six: have a good cry, really big howler. It’s called remorse.

Step seven: say sorry to yourself for anything that you think you could have done differently.

Step eight: say sorry to the people that matter to you for anything that you think you could have done differently.

Step nine: ask for help from someone that you think will understand. If you skip this step you may as well give up now.

Step ten: Don’t hate yourself or other people if the person you ask is not your parent/lover/friend/sibling.

Step eleven: Put your drug of choice down. Put it down right now and walk away. Then mark the occasion with another good cry.

Step twelve: start your daily campaign to stick up for yourself and anyone else you care about, damn it.


Yes. You. Can.


Download the 12 stepshere